I've always been ridiculously terrified of the dark, so much so that I shake when outside in the dark (driving included). I typically do whatever possible to keep myself from being alone in the dark. Lately however, I decided to try something new. Nights that I have to be in the dark I just pray that God will make it light enough to see; and the Lord has provided every single time I've asked. I realize that it isn't acutally any lighter than any other night, but I'm finding that the Lord changes my perspective to make me trust.
I have been learning a lot about community this week. Loving people in the midst of their needs. Holding hands with Ali just to remind her I'm there, and talking with Brittany about her anxiousness. I got to love on these girls today, and I know that it's the Lord because I get pushed to the point where normally I would get frustrated, and I find I just love more. I'm not sure I fully get it yet.
I'm trying really hard to give God control, and to trust Him more fully. I find it hard to comprehend trusting God with my whole life, so I settle for trusting for 5 minutes at a time. Once those 5 minutes are up I recommit. I try and go with the flow more now because I learned fighting things that really aren't in my control is pointless, and if its not helping my walk with the Lord, or the other person, or the situation. It can only hurt.
I need to process a lot of what I've been learning, I think. But I tend to get lost in the bustle of daily activities and find myself just bogged down with the weight of my mind.
"Give me Your eyes for just one second, give me Your eyes so I can see
Everything that I keep missing, give me a love for humanity
Give me Your arms for the broken hearted
The ones that are far beyond my reach
Give me a heart for the ones forgotten, give me Your eyes so I can see."
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