8-12 months

Dear Addelaynie Mae,
 I had intended to catch up your blog letters so many times. After the last one our schedule and life got very hectic, but you were a champ through all of it. I had to keep a list of all your milestones in my phone because you were growing and changing so quickly. This is what mommy has written down.

May-June: (month 8)
 After graduation we were sent to Kansas City Children's hospital because you weren't growing fast enough. They did some x-rays and blood work and told us we had to come back for your growth hormone stimulation test. This made mommy really nervous. They told me you weren't allowed to eat after midnight (which for you, my nursing champ, that was going to be hard enough on your mom), that they would give you an IV and give you the injections through the IV, they would draw your blood every 30 minutes for 4 hours from the IV and test your growth hormone levels. So after a very rough night of mommy worrying. We got to children's hospital (your daddy and auntie kim got to come with us) and they couldn't get the IV in you. They stuck you 8 times (twice in each arm, twice in your temples, once in your foot, and finally got it in your hand); this took about an hour and you screamed the entire time. Mommy cried through most of it too. By the time the IV was in and they gave you the medicine you knocked out on mommy and slept the rest of the test except for the few moments every 30 minutes the nurse messed with you. She was not your favorite person by the end of all of this. We found out later you failed your growth hormone test and could potentially need daily injections like daddy to help you grow.
Other high lights from this month include:
1. Brittany and Nick Eilert came to KC to visit us, with their precious baby girl Esli
2. Jess and Parker got married. Daddy was a groomsmen and you helped mommy with the guest book
3. You started rocking on your hands and knees, you wanted to move but really only went backwards
4. You picked up finger foods and fed yourself, you became very good at this very quickly.
5. Since mom and dad finished school, you spend all day every day with mom, we have lots of adventures together. But mostly you like playing with me.
6. You started jumping in your jumperoo. We still had to put daddy's lexicon under you, but you figured out what it is for.
7. You and daddy had your first fathers day. We made him a special lunch and watched movies with him all day. You enjoyed it a lot.
8. We took our first trip to the zoo with the Kilpatricks. Samuel was very sweet and showed you all of the zoo animals. You loved looking at the animals and really enjoyed being a big kid with Samuel.

June-July (month 9):
1. We moved to Arkansas on July 1st. We had a lot of friends help us load up the truck (they're favorite part was taking breaks to play with you). You also got to spend the afternoon with the Clark's when we got to Arkansas so mommy and Daddy could unload the truck. Uncle Simon and Auntie Age came too.
2. You had your first 4th of July, AND got to go meet baby Rozlyn at the hospital in the same day. Renee and the girls came over and you loved watching the fireworks Pippi's neighbors set off with them
3. We took a road trip to Illinois for Aunt Brandi and uncle Brandt's wedding. It was close to 9 hours in the car, and you were not a fan. But you made it and handled it really well. Your first time in a hotel you weren't exactly sure what to do with the change of scenery but after the first night it was familiar enough to sleep. You were so laid back all weekend as we helped get ready for the wedding and on the wedding day, since mommy was in the wedding you hung out with daddy the entire time.
4. On the way to Illinois we needed a break from the car, and even though it was 106 degrees outside we took you to the St. Louis zoo. You really enjoyed this, even though it was miserably hot. We took you to the penguin house which was by far everyone's favorite because it was freezing in there. You got to pick a souvenir, and you immediately fell in love with a polar bear that both mommy and daddy had overlooked. To this day, Polie (as he has been named) is your favorite toy. He was the best thing we ever bought you.
5. Two days after we got back from Illinois, we got on a plane to go to Portland. We had to spend a last minute night in Denver because of flight delays and such, but you had a great time. The plane wasn't exactly your favorite but you enjoyed talking and flirting to all the people around you. This was your first plane trip.
6. You became quite the mooch this month. You want to try whatever mommy is eating and if you like it you won't share any more with  mommy, it becomes your meal. If mommy wouldn't give you a taste you would throw a fit (I'm nervous for terrible 2's)

July-August (10 months):
1. YOU'RE CRAWLING! It was a very exciting day in our world. Once you figured out forward, you haven't stopped moving since then. You wanted to show everyone your new trick.
2. You enjoy sitting on your knees a lot which is funny.
3. You jabber all day long. You haven't said many words yet (at least that mommy understands) but you have quite a bit to say
4. No more pureed foods for you, you decided the day after mommy made 100 baby food jars full of food (not kidding) that you were over being spoon fed. You started smacking the spoon and screaming and holding your breath every time I tried to feed you. This was a challenge to find finger foods that were soft enough for you to chew and also the correct kinds of foods. But we survived.
5. You learned to stand up in your pack-n-play and yell at me to come and get you from your naps.
6. You learned to point at things. We would ask you where something was and you would point at it. You also enjoyed pointing for the sake of pointing.
7. We were still living at Pippi's house, so you loved every evening when she would come home and play with you. She also introduced you to Cheetos which quickly became a night time staple with you two. You would go hang out in her room before bed. It is still one of your favorite places.
8. Daddy got a new job! We were so excited for him to get a job that he got to be home with you at nights and not the job where he was gone every other week.

August-September (11 months):
1. We moved into our own house. You got to have your own room for the first time, and a crib for the first time. You were so excited to have a space that was all your own. I wish we could have given you that sooner, but we couldn't. Your puppies also have a yard. Which is great because we can send them outside when they get to rowdy.
2. You started "school" this month because mom had to get a part time job. Mommy works at the church and you go to school 8:30-2 on Monday and Thursday, and 8:30-12:00 on Tuesday and Wednesday. You really love school, you have a favorite teacher both days and they are always talking about how sweet you are. Mommy really misses you while she is teaching her classroom, but you love it so much and it is really good for you to be around other babies your age and women who can love on you.
3. We started watching Walker on Wednesday nights this month. I'm pretty sure it's everyone's favorite time of the week. Walker is such a big kid to you and you feel like a big kid when he's around. He has dinner with us, and you both take a bath. Then he goes home and goes to bed. You both are working on sharing, but you both play so well together. It's such a blessing to have them just a couple miles down the road from us.
4. We went to the Endocrinologist in Joplin, they are still concerned about your growth, but he wants to make sure we don't act to quickly. They suggested we give you whole milk and continue feeding you healthy calorie rich foods.
5. You quit nursing this month because of the whole milk. You liked the taste of that better. Or maybe the fact that you could give it to yourself in a cup. Or possibly the fact that you got lazy with nursing afterwards because you found out you didn't have to work that hard with the cup. Regardless of the reasoning you were to "big" to continue nursing.

September-October (12 months):
1. You started using a push walker. You love to walk around like a big kid with it. You have gotten so fast that you run with it. I call you a crazy driver.
2. You started wheezing this month, so we have taken you to doctor after doctor trying to figure out what is wrong. It doesn't seem to bother you, but you sound terrible. Even your teachers at school keep mentioning it to me.
3. You had a stomach bug this month. This was your first time being sick. It was so sad to see you throwing up all day. (Not to mention gross to clean up, especially when you managed to get oatmeal EVERYWHERE). You were better by the next morning but you just needed to be cuddled and loved the whole day.
4. Walker has taught you to love Elmo. He is by far the best thing in the world. Elmo's world has become a morning staple in our house. You have even learned to say Elmo, even though you call him "melmo"
5. You got your first tooth!!! 3 weeks before your birthday. I was starting to think they were never coming.
6. Speaking of your speech. It really took off this month. You went from jabbering to words. You will now consistently ask for mommy, daddy, melmo, bubba (your puppies), more, no, and night night. You're always changing and doing silly things to make mommy laugh.
7. We went to the pumpkin patch with your auntie Steph and you helped mommy pick out a pumpkin. Then when we got home, we set out a bunch of trash bags and set you free to paint your pumpkin as you wanted. You really loved this and worked seriously away until you were done. then you were so proud of your masterpiece when it had dried that you wanted everyone to see it.
8. YOUR BIRTHDAY!! We had your family, and a couple close friends over to celebrate you. We had a garden themed party, because that is how we decorated your room. It was nothing spectacular, but you had a great time. Every time someone came in the door you knew, you immediately wanted them to hold you. You loved every single present people gave you and got mad at mommy when she would take it so you could open another one. We had people write you letters and prayers and we can't wait for you to get old enough to read them
    Mommy and daddy are so blessed to have you in our lives sweet angel. I can't believe you are 1, it doesn't seem like a year ago you entered our lives and changed our entire focus. You are such a happy easy going kid that we know we really lucked out with you, but we also know with your stubborn streak that we will face challenges parenting our strong willed child. We love you so much!


--Since Your birthday---
1. You have started walking, but really don't like it. You want someone holding your hand, or something to hold onto. Otherwise you choose to crawl.
2. You talking is ridiculous, I can no longer keep a count of the words you know because literally every day you say a new one.
3. You have been to a pulminologist. She thinks your lung problems are from a virus similar to RSV, but thankfully it isn't RSV. She has you on 2 inhalers, a nebulizer, and two medicines to clear up your chest. Thankfully, after 3 months of wheezing, you are starting to sound like a normal kid again!
4. You still have not gotten sick since your stomach bug. You have had the occasional teething temperature, but nothing ever high enough to be considered a temperature (your doctor says below 99.4 doesn't count, even if mommy thinks it does)
5. Your appetite is amazing. You eat everything in sight kid. Pancakes and waffles are still by far your favorite breakfast. Bananas are your favorite fruit. And canned ravioli, and macaroni and cheese are by far your favorite lunches. You will eat most anything, however, if you get it in your mind you want something you will refuse to eat until mommy figures out what it is (so ready for you to be able to voice this!)
6. You finally got teeth!!! 4 of them and they are sharp. Thankfully you have only tried to bite a couple times before you learned that was not sweet.
7. You love "cooking" and putting things into and out of baskets. These things can entertain you for hours if I let them.

We love you darling. I'm going to get off here now since you are currently throwing tupperware dishes in the trash. :) Never a dull moment with you.
Always,
Mom, and Dad

7 months old!

Dear Addelaynie,

This month was a very big month for all of us! You started eating baby food and you love it! You eat squash, green beans, peas, pears, apples, peaches, sweet potato, carrot and apricot. You started eating two meals a day but you were bumped up to 3 after your doctors visit. 

You started babbling more, you love to say "da da da" your daddy loves it but you haven't labeled him as dada you just like to hear yourself talk. So mommy is still holding out hope that mama will be your first real word. 

You had your first very rough night of not sleeping, and hopefully for mommy's sanity it will be the only one. But you went to bed at 9:00 like normal but you woke up at 11:00 and were very upset. Mommy and daddy tried everything, from walking, to driving, to bouncing, to veggietales, to singing and feeding. You cried until you fell asleep at 3:00, only to wake up again at 5:30 and scream again. We survived that night but I'm very thankful you have been a good sleeper!

This month you got object permanence which makes mommy's life a little bit harder because when you see the cheerios and want some I can't just hide them in the cabinet and you go back to playing without any issue. You know you're cheerios are there and you want them. :)

The big news of this month is that mommy and daddy graduated from college this month! We had a big celebration had a great time with family and friends celebrating this day. Your pop was the commencement speaker and he did a great job, we had many people compliment him.

We found out at your 6 month appointment that you weren't growing very well so we were sent to Children's Hospital to run some tests. We did celiac and turner's syndrome testing this round and have to go back next month for more testing.

This month was also our first mother's day with you and we had the honor of dedicating to raise you in a Christian home on mother's day. We stood in front of our church congregation and were prayed for, they also gave us a bible which you love because we read from it every night.

You are growing up so fast and we love to watch the things you are learning and doing every day. You are a very smart and sweet girl, determined to be independent. You will get there but mommy and daddy love holding kissing you right now. 

We are so thankful for you and can't imagine our life without your sweet kisses!

Love you,

Mom and Dad

Half Birthday!

Dear Addelaynie Mae,
You turned 6 months old! I can hardly believe how quickly you are growing and turning into a little girl. You are a very sweet, social little girl. At your 6 month appointment you weigh 13 pounds and were 23 inches long (so little is a very accurate description of you). You still love your mama a lot and if she walks past you while you are playing without picking you up, your "up arms" start flailing and you start crying. You like other people and will play with them, but when you are done you will let us know, and you want to go back to mama.

You still aren't sleeping through the night (not from lack of effort on mama's end), but you just aren't quite ready yet. I know you will all of a sudden do it and I won't know what to do when we miss our 3:30 and 6:30 feedings. You have gotten on a very good schedule of eating and sleeping otherwise so I can't complain.

We have been working on waving bye bye and you squeal and laugh when other people interact with you.

You still love your oatmeal every day, and on your half birthday you tried butternut squash and apples. You seemed to really like it, this baby food thing is going to be an adventure for us both!

Your daddy still works at the boys ranch to provide for mommy and you, and though it is hard hours and long weeks without him. We still love him and are super blessed that he is in our life. He loves you so much and is such a good daddy.
This is a short update, but the next month will be much longer.
We love you little girl,
Mommy and daddy

5 months!

Dear Addelaynie,

This month mommy had to go to keeping a list of your monthly milestones because you were becoming far to interesting for me to keep track of! So, this is the list mommy came up with that you did this month: 1.You like to squawk and talk all the time, we have taken many videos of how much you love to talk to us and your toys, you don't stop and like to squeal when we go out to eat. 2. You reach for objects. Your favorite thing to touch is people's faces. You reach out and smile at them when you have both hands squarely on their cheeks.

3. Cereal. You eat cereal every night, the first couple weeks it was hard for you to get used to the spoon, but now every night you get so excited when you see the cereal come out. You are so wanting to try other foods but we still have a little bit of time left, even though that hasn't stopped you from trying to steal bites of food here and there.

4. Sitting up by yourself. You think you are such a big kid in this, and you are getting very good at it!

5. Letting other people hold you. You are starting to love playing with other people and enjoying having their full attention.

6. Pink eye :( The little girl that mommy watches every Tuesday and Thursday gave mommy and you pink eye. It was a rough couple days, but you felt better after some medicine and extra snuggles from mommy.

7. Pool time! Over spring break mommy and you got some good time together and one day we got bored so we decided to try the pool. You weren't a huge fan, but you were a great sport about trying it. The water was a little chilly so maybe when you can regulate your body temperature and it gets a little warmer you will love the pool as much as your bath time!

8. You love your toys. You constantly are reaching into your toy bag on the couch and pulling out new toys to play with. You have a lot of infant toys and you love all of them in turn but you are definitely making your preferences known for certain toys!

9. We went to Walker's first birthday party and you got to play with the kids and you loved feeling like a big kid and being included. We also Angela Salinas' little girl Camille who is 10 days older than you. We are very thankful for both of these kiddos moms in your mommy's life.

10. You continue to want to be put down awake for both your nap and bed time, but you will not go to sleep without your blanket and your raffy.

11. This month you and daddy have become quite the pair. You talk to him and laugh at him and spend your mornings bonding. He loves his time with his little girl and you continue to find ways to steal his heart.

12. You love your feet. You play with them all the time and it is pretty cute to watch you explore. :)

We love you so much little girl, you are getting so big and you are still the light of our life. We can't believe how quickly you are growing up and asserting your independence, but we love watching you grow and change and can't wait to see what you will do next!

Love,

Mom and Dad

Realizations of the imperfect person I am

So tonight in the bathtub, Addelaynie and I were going through our normal routine, she was playing with the wash cloth and her ducks I was watching her splash and answering my husbands text messages (when he works we often try and text throughout the day so he doesn't miss everything she does) tonight we were talking about how well she had eaten her rice cereal just before bath. Addelaynie started to kind of fuss and whine and I continued messaging, telling her "Hold on, mommy will be done in a second," when it hit me:

I want my daughter to know that the life we had without her pales greatly in comparison to the life we have with her; but was I really treating her that way, and living out the things I tell her every night before bed? Was that text message so important that I had to answer it right away, or could I have continued to play with her in the bathtub and waited until she was taken care of and content before answering? Wouldn't my husband understand better than her that when he is gone and I'm home alone, I'm trying to live up the promise we made each other to raise our children in a way that we can be proud of later?

But more importantly, I began to wonder, just how many times a day I push Addelaynie aside and continue to do what I want to do because I want to do it? (Now, I'm not saying never make her wait, and always be waiting on her hand and foot but, I understand the importance of teaching children patience and that sometimes other things need to be tended to first) What I'm talking about here is how often am I cooking and could be interacting with her while cooking but choose to let her fuss because it's faster if I'm not interrupted? How often am I interrupting our play time to tend to the fact that my phone buzzed? How often am I surfing the internet, or messing around on the computer while she fusses on my lap? How often do I get annoyed with her when she makes me stop what I was doing to tend to the fact that she dropped her pacifier, again...and again...and again...?

There are legitimate times that she has to fuss and be patient with mommy. When it's just the two of us and the dogs need to potty, she has to be put down for a minute and let me take them out. When I have a big assignment due (and I have used my time wisely after she goes to bed, or during her morning nap) and that still isn't enough to finish it, some of my day will have to be taken up by that. [but let's be honest here, how often have I actually been a good steward of my time? Fewer than many may think!]

I realized every time I push her aside to continue what I want to do, selfishly, I am failing to live up to what I tell her when I lay her down at night "We love you, and are thankful for you, and life with you is a million times more joyful, and blessed than it was without you." I am failing to show her in my everyday actions that I really mean that, that her dad really means that. In fact I'm showing her the opposite: that life without her was just as good if not better, because I didn't have anyone interrupting my plans. Why have I failed to really cherish my daughter the way I want to in everyday situations? Why has it taken me almost 5 months to realize this? and what would our life look like if I stepped up as her mom and proved to her that she was my first priority? How much more would my daughter grow up being sure of her worth and value if we actually took the time to show it to her?

And so tonight, I have realized and have been saddened over the choices I have made to many times the past 4 months. Tonight I pray that the Father would continue to show me how to parent Addelaynie in a way that is glorifying to Him and teaches her that mommy and daddy value her and will be there for her when she needs! Tonight, I hope to go to sleep exhausted, and drained; and wake up with the realization that it is a new day and He has made all things new. That I am blessed enough to try again and have a 2nd chance to be the mother my daughter deserves. Tonight I can have hope that even though I am not proud of the way things were, I can change and I can work on being better. Tonight I can feel the Lord's freedom, and isn't that what He is wanting us all to learn? Tonight, as I look at the example of the perfect Father, I know that I will never be that, but I can at least follow in His footsteps of renewal.

And the growing continues...

Addelaynie,

You are now 4 months old and the strides you've made this month are incredible! Mommy started having to keep a list in her phone of all the milestones you reach each month. Between 3 and 4 months, your major milestones include:

1. Recognizing mommy's face when you see her, but you are also starting to recognize faces you see consistently. These would be people like daddy, auntie Kim, your nursery teachers, Gentry ( who we play with twice a week). If you are fussing and you see a face you recognize you stop crying and talk to whoever it is. You really don't like to be left alone or when someone turns their back to you.

2. You laugh so much more. It is one of your daddy and your mommy's favorite sounds; and it makes us feel very special when we can get a giggle out of you.

3. Your eyesight has improved so much that you can see across a room and watch mommy cook from your high chair. you love being involved in whatever is going on!

4. We got some of your plastic toys out because you are starting to want to play. Your attention span is still short, but you love playing with toys and love it even more when mommy and daddy play toys with you. Interaction is your favorite thing by far.

5. You've gotten so used to mommy putting you down slightly awake and then putting your puppies in their kennels that you actually prefer to go to sleep like this. You have a favorite blanket (that your grandma gave you for Christmas) and a favorite stuffed giraffe (that Adriane and Tara gave you in the hospital). You will not sleep without them, or travel anywhere without them. When you are tired you insist on having them in your hands. Kodi tore your blanket apart one night, but mommy spent the whole night sewing it up for you (you slept across her lap with blanket tightly wrapped in your fists).

6. You don't mind your carseat now. It's not your favorite, but you have realized you have toys on the handle so you quietly play or rub your blanket on your face while we drive.

Mostly, you like to cuddle still, but you are getting more interactive. You are such a sweet baby, and your nursery teachers always talk about how sweet and happy you are (this makes mommy feel better about leaving you for so long on Sundays) You don't like it when mommy has to do homework because that means you aren't the center of her world. But you still love Veggie tales so you deal with it while mommy works, only if your veggies are on.

You are very sensitive to other people crying or if someone yells. You often get sad if we yell at the puppies. It is very sweet.

You're fun and sweet and we are so proud of you for all that you do. We can't wait to see you grow up and how you choose to interact with the world!
We love you sweet girl!
Dad and Mom

3 months old

Dear Addelaynie Mae,

You are 3 months old now, and still the light of our lives. You laugh and smile at us a lot and you are just so content being passed around, however, when you are tired and want mommy you definitely let us know. You love sleeping with mommy and daddy, and cuddle with us all night. If we move away from you and you loose your physical touch you wake up and cry until we are snuggled tightly again. You still wont nap unless you are on mommy's lap (with the exception of your morning nap).

Mommy and daddy have gone back to school and you didn't like mommy leaving you everyday but you're adjusting to our new schedule.

You have rolled over from your back to your belly a couple times but are way more interested in standing and eating food. Soon enough you'll be a big kid but you would rather be one now. You were weighed at your 2 month appointment at 10 pounds 3 ounces and 21 inches long. So you're growing and healthy.

I love to spend time with you everyday and watch you learn about things. Salem is by far your favorite thing to look at which is entertaining because she likes to look at you too. You and Kodi, however remain indifferent to each other, but one day, you'll be friends.

We love you little one,

mom and dad