So I recently had the realization that I had to grow up. I can't just "Peter Pan" this thing, and stay little forever. That I need to quit acting childish and accept/face the upcoming responsibilities of my life. Of course, knowing me, as soon as I had this realization I began to freak out and want to run away, but I think it is about time to become the woman of god that I am supposed to be, and I don't know why I was scared, other than my fear of failing, but I have a million of people women in my life who continually pour truth into me and show me what I am supposed to do. This week, I have been increasingly thankful for these women...if you don't know who you are, I would be glad to tell you all in person!
Also, I had lunch with Kevie two days ago, and she is just such a sweet heart, and she got me thinking about all the people who loved me when I was so "messed up" and how now that I'm growing in the Lord they still continue to stand by myside and continue to love on me. I realized I am taking part in such an awesome body that sometimes I just sit back and realize how awesome my community is.
"I tell you this so that no one may deceive you by fine-sounding arguments. For though I am absent from you in body, I am present with you in spirit and delight to see how orderly you are and how firm your faith in Christ is." Colossians 2:4-5
Friday, June 26, 2009
Thursday, June 18, 2009
And when the world begins to see you change don't expect them to applaud, just keep your eyes on him and tell yourself, I've become the work of God"
So, I failed at journaling the past few weeks... it's been crazy though.
My mom leaves for Denver on the 4th of July, for surgery, that will hopefully save her from future anguish. Most people kinda freak out when I tell them this, and that she spent a while in the hospital. But the truth is, it doesn't scare me. My mother fights for what she wants to fight for, and I know that if anything happens it is for God's will alone. I sit confidently in the fact that this situation is out of my control and in God's. Why even fight it?
I've worked a ton lately. It has its awesome moments, dull moments, and moments when I could murder someone. It's the drama of my job, and after 4ish years, I'm getting used to it. I don't feel like it is an affective use of my potential for ministry, but I also know, that I love my job. At the end of the day, when all is said and done, I love being expected to serve people, and learn little things about people, how they like their food. But, I pray that my consistant work at that job is glorifying to God and that I am a good steward of everything.
I love my community here, I really do. There is always someone telling me how much I mean to them, or just giving me a hug. Someone always making me feel valued and like I make a difference. I really miss Bolivar, and the people there, but I really needed people pouring into me like they do. I'm so thankful for each and every person and what they mean to me. I wish they all knew. I spent some quality time with my kiddos from a community group that I sit for, and they are precious, each and every one of those crazy kids!
I've been learning a lot recently about the application of how you can only trust God to the extent that you know him...I truly desire this summer to know him more!
I've been studying Colossians with a bunch of college students, the Mcllelands, and the Newmans, and I really enjoy how passionate Matt gets when he talks to us. I really wish I could spend more time with these two families, they are definately pillars of truth in my life, plus Chanika and Martha are precious woman, who are such a good examples in my life! I appreciate them a ton! Chankia was there for me probably more than she realized when I was going through a rough time; however both of these women make me feel so valued, loved, and cared for its ridiculous sometimes! I knowgod is working in and through these precious ladies to touch many lives of the teenage girls that really need their love and affection. They've taught me what it means to be a woman of god and to have a heart for girls. I just really love them!
I was touched last night when a girl from my dorm asked me to help her find a passage to combat a lie she was believing. She said I was really good at scripture. which was an encouragement that even though I don't feel it all the time, I am growing. I desire to be a woman of God, that is deeply moved by the scripture, and Shelley has been teaching me how to accomplish that.
I feel I have been distracted in my walk lately, but I definately say the cause of that would be my lack of time spent in the word. Sighs, I just wish I could have a consistant schedule so I could plan better. However, the time I have spent in the word has been awesome and much needed. I really am just in awe of God right now, and how he moves within me, and other people and how together we make this huge tapestry full of the redemption story, its amazing really.
"For this reason also, since the day we heard of it, we have not ceased to pray for you and to ask that you may be filled with the knowledge of His will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding, so that you will walk in a manner worthy of the Lord, to please Him in all respects, bearing fruit in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God; strengthened with all power according to His glorious might, for the attainin of all steadfastness and patience; joyously giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified us to share in the inheritance of the saints of the light. For He rescued us from the domain of darkness, and transferred us to the kingdom of His beloved Son, in whom we have redemption the forgiveness of sins. He is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn of all creation. For by Him all things were created, both in the heavens and on the earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities--all things have been created through Him and for Him. He is before all things, and in Him all things hold together." Colossians 1:9-17
My mom leaves for Denver on the 4th of July, for surgery, that will hopefully save her from future anguish. Most people kinda freak out when I tell them this, and that she spent a while in the hospital. But the truth is, it doesn't scare me. My mother fights for what she wants to fight for, and I know that if anything happens it is for God's will alone. I sit confidently in the fact that this situation is out of my control and in God's. Why even fight it?
I've worked a ton lately. It has its awesome moments, dull moments, and moments when I could murder someone. It's the drama of my job, and after 4ish years, I'm getting used to it. I don't feel like it is an affective use of my potential for ministry, but I also know, that I love my job. At the end of the day, when all is said and done, I love being expected to serve people, and learn little things about people, how they like their food. But, I pray that my consistant work at that job is glorifying to God and that I am a good steward of everything.
I love my community here, I really do. There is always someone telling me how much I mean to them, or just giving me a hug. Someone always making me feel valued and like I make a difference. I really miss Bolivar, and the people there, but I really needed people pouring into me like they do. I'm so thankful for each and every person and what they mean to me. I wish they all knew. I spent some quality time with my kiddos from a community group that I sit for, and they are precious, each and every one of those crazy kids!
I've been learning a lot recently about the application of how you can only trust God to the extent that you know him...I truly desire this summer to know him more!
I've been studying Colossians with a bunch of college students, the Mcllelands, and the Newmans, and I really enjoy how passionate Matt gets when he talks to us. I really wish I could spend more time with these two families, they are definately pillars of truth in my life, plus Chanika and Martha are precious woman, who are such a good examples in my life! I appreciate them a ton! Chankia was there for me probably more than she realized when I was going through a rough time; however both of these women make me feel so valued, loved, and cared for its ridiculous sometimes! I knowgod is working in and through these precious ladies to touch many lives of the teenage girls that really need their love and affection. They've taught me what it means to be a woman of god and to have a heart for girls. I just really love them!
I was touched last night when a girl from my dorm asked me to help her find a passage to combat a lie she was believing. She said I was really good at scripture. which was an encouragement that even though I don't feel it all the time, I am growing. I desire to be a woman of God, that is deeply moved by the scripture, and Shelley has been teaching me how to accomplish that.
I feel I have been distracted in my walk lately, but I definately say the cause of that would be my lack of time spent in the word. Sighs, I just wish I could have a consistant schedule so I could plan better. However, the time I have spent in the word has been awesome and much needed. I really am just in awe of God right now, and how he moves within me, and other people and how together we make this huge tapestry full of the redemption story, its amazing really.
"For this reason also, since the day we heard of it, we have not ceased to pray for you and to ask that you may be filled with the knowledge of His will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding, so that you will walk in a manner worthy of the Lord, to please Him in all respects, bearing fruit in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God; strengthened with all power according to His glorious might, for the attainin of all steadfastness and patience; joyously giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified us to share in the inheritance of the saints of the light. For He rescued us from the domain of darkness, and transferred us to the kingdom of His beloved Son, in whom we have redemption the forgiveness of sins. He is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn of all creation. For by Him all things were created, both in the heavens and on the earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities--all things have been created through Him and for Him. He is before all things, and in Him all things hold together." Colossians 1:9-17
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