This is my declaration of dependence, of my need, this is my declaration of dependence on the one who gave this life to me...

So basically, this break has been much needed and overall much appreciated! There have been ups and downs for sure, most involving my mother but overall I was so ready for a break and didn't even know it...

I got to have a great talk with Shelley Saturday night (I skipped the second service...oops) just about life and what's been going on. She talked to me some about her life and it was just SO good to hear that someone got me and was willing to share with me!

Sunday was BEAUTIFUL, so I helped in 56 and then got to love on the precious Schafer twins... but I just love that whole family, such blessings all of them. Then I walked out to Tanyard and spent some time just being quiet and re-reading the story of Peter walking on water... its my favorite. I worked on some class stuff, and told my mom I changed majors, she wasn't happy but I figured she wouldn't be.

Monday I got to spend some time with Eulalia, who is such a sweet girl! I had a lot of fun with her, and just listening to her heart. Then I worked for a long time, but I love my job and so I wasn't complaining.

Today, I spent my morning with one of my favorite kiddos! She and I read books, and my word she has gotten big while I was at school. It kinda makes me sad, but she is so funny that you can't stay sad for long! Hopefully my camera lens get here today... I'm hoping. And I get to work again tonight.

I'm in a good place, there have been quite a few times these past few days that I have wanted to get upset or something, and I'm trying really hard to focus on how blessed I really am, plus I've got girls constantly telling me how much they love me. It's great. 

I'm excited for my phone date with Mel tomorrow! :D 

Keep pruning us because we're known for screwing up

Each part of me that He changes, means I look a little more like Him every day... (how awesome is that?!) 

Lord move in a way I've never seen before, 'cause there's a mountain in the way and a lock on the door, so move, move, or move me!

I saw the law... I took my eyes off Him and I sank... FAST.
I was ok, until Wednesday night I was talking to a girl in my dorm and she gave me a push that I needed to, but that was really hard. To tell people I don't trust that a girl I love with my whole heart was in trouble... seeing the problem? After doing so I told my ra why I didn't trust her and didn't want to talk to her, it didn't go so well.
I woke up to the girl I love not wanting to talk to me really, and being around me when she has to, every plan we had made she cancelled, to "bond with her girls." It hurts a lot... I didn't trust those people any way, I trusted her and loved her, now she's upset with me. I know she needed that, and that hopefully someday she'll understand that I did it because I wanted to be sure we could go together on our 6 months.
*sighs* so I cried all through worship. No, I'm not ok, but I'm really trying to let go and cling to the promise that God is here and he is working on me, and the people around me.
That was Thursday... today I spent some time with Kyleigh, I just enjoy her! I took a test in New Testament, got Age dinner for her and Sim, and drove to work... I got off and found out my mom's boyfriend (of like 2 years) broke up with her, and she was so upset that my grandmother was at the house making sure nothing happened. I got home and it was my turn. She has no hope right now, she said it herself. I don't know what to do, or what state I'll find her in in the morning...
I'm tired...maybe I should sleep...

Shine On...

This week, I'm just basking in the glory of God. He works in such amazing ways, and when I let go of what I think I should hold on to, He blows me away every time!
I've laughed a ton this week and gotten to play disk golf for the first time... I'm not very good at it though, but who cares :)

I had a really good talk in spiritual formation today about the law and grace. Our professor talked about the law and grace and how a lot of christians live under the law still. We also talked about the symbolism of the story where Peter walks on water here's the basics:
water represents the law, often throughout the bible-example: exodus
So in this instance when Jesus was walking to the water he was being held up by the law and when Peter joined him as long as he looked at Jesus the whole time he too was upheld by the law. But as soon as he focused on the law and not Jesus he sank, because that is all the law can ever do, emphasize the need for a savior, and make you sink more.

Its a phenominal thought to me!

I ate in a fountain tonight...it was enjoyable

I may be down but I will rise... It may be dark but God is light...

This week has been a sad week...

Monday and Tuesday were hard days just in the sheer amount of tests and lack of sleep (you can't sleep on a greyhound...lesson learned the hard way). But I think Wednesday and Thursday are just sad days... but I know that God is here, and he is still good. As my professor says in our spiritual formations class that "my feeler is stuck," and I'm guessing thats probably true... the more that I continually tell myself that what I'm feeling is not who I am, the more I feel that way.... *sigh* I'll get there...

Clinging to the Cross...

So the excitement about life has died down slightly, but you know, I'm still content. I have had a couple really good conversations the past few days, but I think I've just been really distracted. I have a tendency to run myself to the point of pure exhaustion and then as soon as I regain some conciousness, I do it all over again. The never ending cycle I have yet to learn from. Needless to say, I'm on a low on energy...
I've been real distracted all day long, like I'm pretty sure, now that I think about it I washed my hair twice this morning because I was thinking, and in the process of thinking about this I lost about 30 minutes of my history class. The kind of distraction where you just follow the rabbit trail and you pop out like 30 some minutes later and wonder where you have been that whole time, and what you missed because you weren't in the classroom...

"Direct my footsteps according to your word; let NO sin rule over me." --Psalm 119:133 (emphasis on no, added)

I love that verse, it's been speaking tons to me lately. I feel like if someone gave a sermon on this verse alone, it wouldn't be sufficient. I think it is because this has been a season of revelations, in how many lies I was believing and the truths behind them.

"You can take the world, just give me YOU!"