"All I wanna do is exalt You, all I wanna do is to lift You high, all I wanna do is to please You, all I wanna do is to make You smile

So my life has been way hectic and I can't quite describe how. However, recently I was journaling and questioning the Lord as to His will for my life and what He wants for me; and when I journal I often write without really thinking about what is being put on the page, because it's just for me, grammer and logical transitions don't really matter to me. But anyway, I was writing and I looked back at it the next morning and from my questioning, in my own hand writing was a little love letter from the father to me, it was the first time it had ever happened and I was so excited to see it. Right after a list of questions I found this: "Be still...no more questions, no more wondering. Just worship me by being and be filled to the brink with my life. Your time will come my child, wait in expectaion for that moment, my whisper. Don't be distracted by the world around you, fix your eyes on me and me alone. I will never leave you or let you fall for you are mine, never fear."

I've been really stressed out lately and I have had a stress migrane for about 2 weeks and have finally come to the conclusion that I won't be trying to rush my college career and that I'll be going the full four years instead of just three...I just don't know if I could physically cope with that amount of stress.

I get this feeling that my whole life is about to change, I'm not really sure how I feel about it other than really stressed out and scared at the moment. I've never been one for change, I wouldn't walk on grass for like 3 months after I learned to walk. My mom would put me in the grass and I would just stand there and cry...If only I was one again, and whenever I was scared I could just be picked up and it would all go away.

I was really stressed last night and began praying for peace, and almost immediately I felt calmed, and was again amazed at how quickly God had answered me.

I'm praying for discernment and peace in the decisions that I am about to make...please join me in praying for this as well...I can't do this on my own strength!!

"I swim for brighter days despite the absence of sun..."

Life is a funny thing, some days are just better because the sun is shining, I wish I could understand it...
I've been striving after life and my commitments a lot, and its slowly worn me down, I know that God wants us to rely on his provisions and to rest in his work, but I feel like I need to do the best that I can at the things I can committed to doing...But I'm tired, I'm tired of feeling like I continually don't do my best because I don't have enough time. I'm tired of not spending enough time in His word because I fall asleep every-time I start to read it, or not even open it some times because I don't even finish my homework. Every one else can see that I'm over committed, why can't I? But then I'm at a loss because even if I start to realize that I don't feel like there's anything I can do about it.

God really pulled at my heart the other day, Murray talked on the prodigal son at church and I could just tell that God was stirring things. It hurt, a lot, and I don't exactly know what to do with the thoughts that took place during that hour. I want to go back and ask for forgiveness, because it has become very apparent in my life that I have pushed this hurt away and just tried to move on...but it's affecting everything including my relationships. I need to heal, and forgive; yet I don't want to process through these emotions to get to that spot.

We have been going through Song of Solomon with some girls in my hall and it challenges me so much with my view of dating and courtship...I plan on making my brothers listen to it, so that they know how to lead in a Godly relationship. I've really enjoyed just being reminded of that truth.

Intentionality is not something that I'm great at. I've really been working, but I feel fake a lot of times when I try and be intentional with my girls. I also feel like when I sit down to talk to them, it some how turns out that I do most of the talking...I don't like that. I shall work on my listening next!

I have currently been blessed immensely by some of the people in the community I live in at school. We went to the park Sunday and spent some time at a bonfire late that night. I've really enjoyed getting to know these people.

I have a great roommate this term and I have really enjoyed serving her, and laughing with her. It's been a lot of fun. I wish at times there were a few different aspects but I can totally tell that the Lord allowed me to choose her as a roommate to prove to me that things will continue to get better, and I'm stoked for whatever is going to happen next!!