"I try to be so tough, but I'm just not strong enough, I can't do this alone God I need you to hold onto me."

I participated a week long fast recently and it was really hard, but not in the physical sense of the word at all. I started the week expectant that the Lord would move in a fantastic way, and immediately felt the opposition rise up against that. Using scripture I continually reminded myself "Man cannot live on bread alone, but by every word of God."
By the end of the second day I felt really isolated from the world and oppressed in a way I can't put words to. I just sat in the prayer chapel at school and cried out to the Lord. I found peace in the midst of anxiety. The week was one of the hardest things I've been through in a long time, I was under attack in every way from pressures of school, to relationship strains, to everything that I could think of going wrong happening. There were a lot of moments I questioned whether the Lord was actually there, but I know from the truth of His word that He was.

I needed to be home this weekend because I had begun to be emptied spiritually. I can't remember the last time I sat in a worship oppertunity or church without having to run the powerpoint, or pour into teenage girls lives with the truth they needed. I was running dry and looking at my schedule and realizing the next month I will be pouring into a lot of girls lives and encouraging the body. But I can't pour out what I don't contain. So I went home. Murray drove me home and was super awesome like always in his willingness to meet whatever ridiculous needs I had.

I was super encouraged by everyone I came in contact with: the Seal family, the Mcllelands, the Price's, the Robbins, the Carlsons, the Primm family, the Kenyons, the list could probably continue forever... I spent time in service worshipping and time hugging on some amazing one-year-olds. I wish there was a community like I have at home near school, but I know that my appreciation for the people who love on me would decrease. So today I am extremely grateful for the people who touched my heart this weekend and showed me the love of Christ. I wish I could sit down with the women I saw this weekend, and just learn from them all and just learn to be a woman of God like their heart radiates. They are all amazing women of God.